These deceptively simple little gems are taken from an excellent handbook by Dr Temple Grandin and Sean Barron, both of whom have autism, called Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspective of Autism.
The book is worth a look for anyone living with autism/Asperger’s, as it provides some good basic “signposts” about manners, expectations, and how to keep frustrations and misunderstandings from blowing up into full-on thermonuclear war, emotionally and socially speaking. I wish I’d had a copy of it when I was a teenager and young adult, as it probably would have saved me a lot of time and energy in terms of trying to decode the behaviour and motives of people around me, and simply figuring out how to behave.
My favourite, and one I am still learning (even at my age) is Number 6, that not everyone who is nice to me is my friend. Sigh. 😦
Hope these are helpful!
The Ten Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships
Rule #1 Rules are Not Absolute. They are Situation-based and People-based.
Rule #2 Not Everything is Equally Important in the Grand Scheme of Things.
Rule #3 Everyone in the World Makes Mistakes. It Doesn’t Have to Ruin Your Day.
Rule #4 Honesty is Different than Diplomacy.
Rule #5 Being Polite is Appropriate in Any Situation.
Rule #6 Not Everyone Who is Nice to Me is My Friend.
Rule #7 People Act Differently in Public than They Do in Private
Rule #8 Know When You’re Turning People Off.
Rule #9 “Fitting In” is Often Tied to Looking and Sounding like You Fit in.
Rule #10 People are Responsible for Their Own Behaviors.