Sh*t People Say to People with Asperger’s

One of the challenges of having Asperger Syndrome is that most of us look so … normal. For the most part, it’s hard to pick us out of a crowd (at least initially): there’s no wheelchair, leg brace, or obvious physical clues to indicate that we are anything but Neurotypical, predictable, average — Just Like You.

Maybe this visual cue would help. (Can I outfit it with a Saturn V rocket engine, though??)

So it is probably confusing to the rest of you when we show a preference for talking about math, oceanography, a beloved rock band, or bus seat repair, or start repeating the dialogue from a Monty Python movie.

Or when we simply look at you blankly when you talk at us about your kids, home renovations, or the plot of whatever reality TV show you watched last night.

(They say Aspergians dwell on their own “special interests” to the point of boring their listeners to death, but I would argue that Neurotypicals do the same thing — meaning we’re not so very different after all!

But I digress.)

At any rate, because we look so “normal,” Neurotypicals often lash out at us, sometimes incredibly brutally, when their expectations aren’t met. I suspect it’s an evolutionary, “survival of the fittest” thing, related to the way that chickens will mob up and peck to death any member of their flock who shows a spot of blood on her feathers.

Uh oh, looks like Edna's limping a bit -- get her, girls!!

We also tend to be very naive, making us easy prey for just about anyone who pretends to be our friend in order to get something from us. (More on this in a future post.)

Humans pride themselves in thinking they’re above all that, but sometimes I’m not so sure.

As an Aspergian, I have had people say things to me over the course of my life that would be considered shameful (if not  grounds for a lawsuit) if they’d been said to someone with Down Syndrome or cerebral palsy.

So, with a nod to the popular “Sh*t Girls Say” and “Sh*t My Dad Says” (and a leap onto the bandwagon), I now give you…

Sh*t People Say to Aspergians

  • “Don’t be so stupid.”
  • “Grow up and act your age.”
  • “You’re so smart — you should know better than that.”
  • “Why do you have to make such a big deal of everything? What the hell is your problem anyway?”
  • “Why do you always have to be such a bitch?”
  • “Why are you so uptight?”
  • “You’re weird.”
  • “You’re off-putting and downright creepy.”
  • “We just don’t see you fitting onto our team. Best of luck in future endeavours.”
  • “You’re overqualified for the job, unfortunately. Best of luck in your job search.”
  • “I’ve told you this 500 times already. What are you, retarded?”
  • “You’re so damn smart — YOU figure it out.”
  • “Hey, I didn’t know you could draw! Can you just quickly make me a birthday card for my mum?”
  • “Oh, there you go, showing off again.”
  • “You’re such a good writer. We can’t pay you, of course, but would you mind rewriting our company website?”
  • “Oh, you’re an editor? Can I just get you to take a look at this letter I wrote to my boss?”
  • “We had a birthday party for X on the weekend but we didn’t invite you because we didn’t think you’d want to come.”
  • “You’re married/living with someone? Really? Can Asperger people even have sex or relationships??”
  • “You’re such a know-it-all. Is there anything you’re not an expert on?”
  • “So what? I forgot my wallet again. What’s the big deal? You’ve got a credit card — just pay for our dinner with that and I’ll pay next time. I promise.”
  • “Thanks for loaning me your car. I hit a post in the car-park, but I think your insurance should cover the damage.”
  • “You’re really smart — can you come over and fix my computer?”
  • “Of course I think you’re hot. Can I come in for a nightcap?”
  • “Just answer the question. I don’t have all day to listen to your crap.”
  • “Stop asking so many questions and do as you’re told.”
  • “You have Asperger’s? Really? Are you sure? You just don’t seem like an asshole to me.”

…and finally, my personal favourite, which is not so much a matter of what the person is saying as how they say it — that moment when you tell someone (even someone you’ve known for years) that you have Asperger Syndrome, and suddenly they start talking to you in that slow, concerned, Special Voice usually used on small children who are wandering alone at the supermarket.

"Now Andy, I'm going to use the Special Voice on you for just a moment. Isn't that nice?"

They might as well be asking you if you have your name sewn into the lining of your jacket or need help finding the toilets. (I think this is one of the reasons I find the “Lou and Andy” sketches on Little Britain so hysterically funny!)

Alas, there is no remedy for an outbreak of Special Voice other than to just walk away.

As for the other “Sh*t people say” to us, however, I wish I knew of a remedy for that (one that doesn’t involve a choke-hold or inviting the Neurotypical in question to insert something unwieldy in their descending colon).

(See? Even I know that’s rude.)

Maybe I’ll start carrying my copy of Emily Post’s book on etiquette with me, and the next time someone makes a personal remark to me, I’ll just invite them to have a look.

And then konk them over the head with it. 🙂

Four-and-a-half pounds of etiquette lessons.


55 thoughts on “Sh*t People Say to People with Asperger’s

  1. Nice post! Many of these things are similar to what I’m experiencing as a mother of two autistic boys and am afraid of what they’ll hear too many times in the future.

  2. I’m hoping that as your boys grow older, and people become more aware of autism and Asperger’s, that people won’t make so many of the kinds of comments I talked about. I grew up in the 60s and 70s when there was *no* awareness, and it was really hard sometimes. It’s hard sometimes now, too, because as I said, so many of us look “normal” and the expectations are that we “act normal.”
    But things are changing, slowly… once I tell people I have Asperger’s, a light often goes on in their heads and they are MUCH more accepting of me, and often very curious.
    As a mum of two little guys with autism, you’ll probably have to do their “defending” for them for a while, until they are more able to do it themselves. We’ll never be completely rid of the insensitive boneheads of the world, but we *can* gravitate towards the people who love and accept us!
    I hope you are surrounded by good people who accept your boys for who they are and give them — and you — lots of encouragement. 🙂

    • Encouraging words indeed – I hope you are right, that the common misconceptions will disappear and that most people will know – at least to some extent – what it means to have autism. Luckily I have a wonderful family, both my own and my husband’s, that love us and our boys so much. Unfortunately they are currently back in Iceland since we are living in Denmark for the moment. But we’ll soon be moving back home and we do indeed have good friends here in Denmark. So we are looking bright eyed towards the future… 🙂

    • Heheh. You’re welcome. I actually scooped it (a bit) from a comedian I heard once talking about when his wife was trying to teach him to ski & made him wear a helmet. He was on the “bunny hill” in this helmet, and people kept coming up to him & saying “Are you having a GOOD TIME?” and “Is there someone here to help you?”, in That Voice.

      I call it “Special Voice” because “Helmet Voice” is kinda insulting. But everyone seems to know exactly what it means… 😉

  3. Oh, oh…this is awesome! And what about: “you couldn’t be, you’re not like that.”. And “that’s odd. *turns to another NT* don’t you think that’s odd?”

    • LOL… oh yeah, I get that a lot. I’m a “stealth Aspergian” if you’re with me for less than 10 minutes — I’ve learned to get by. So people often say I’m too “normal” to have Asperger’s. Until they have dinner with me. 😀

  4. Great post. The hen-pecking or mob mentality common to NTs scares me. I have long suspected they have a pathological need for conformity/hegemony.

  5. i don’t know if you have heard of michelle dawson and the issues that she is dealing with … with respect to the insults waged or that you have experienced … it goes a lot deeper than what one would think … it is referred to as autism politics … and a ‘hate’ campaign waged agains autistics in society … please refer to … for some stunning information about the need for advocacy and support … thank you for your input and ideas as well … wish you to have a great day !!!!!!!!

    • I follow her on Twitter but haven’t looked closely at a lot of her stuff.
      Ironically (and increasingly horribly) I edit a lot of business textbooks for college-age kids and much of what I read involves teaching these kids (inadvertently) how NOT to hire an Aspergian. Everything’s “team, team, team!” and it’s so sad.

  6. Some of this is just too true for me as well.
    Often the negative reactions I get are less verbal but their body language gives it away.
    Its usually pity, concerned, suprised, or cautious.
    Ihate it when people show pity because it makes me feel like a freak or something.

    • Can totally understand that! The cautious response isnt nice either, I think as soon as some people who are non-educated about Aspergers Syndrome hears that someone has it, they think theyre a ticking time bomb. Which is only half true for me 😛

      • Lol! Same here. I’ve had the Cautious Response a few times and it makes me, well, turn into the time bomb. Drives me nuts to be spoken to like I’m 3 years old.

      • Same with me, just the thought of being spoken to like a child makes me feel angry XD I think I prize dignity quite high and to have that taken away from me over something as trivial as having Aspergers Syndrome really makes me annoyed that people who are uneducated about it feel the need to talk down to us “aspies”.

  7. this is beyond brilliant! you’ve written here everything I could possibly need for my “coming out” at school on Thursday! Your blog rocks! finally a girl with asperger’s who’s got the balls to write about it

    • Thanks for your enthusiasm! 🙂 I hope everything goes well with your “coming out.” Let me know how it goes.

    • Finally a girl at ALL. All the Aspie forums seem to be littered with guys and its really hard to find a girl Aspie on them. Well I guess that only makes sense because Wikipedia says that boys are 3 to 4 times more likely to have it. But still it feels nice to find a girl Aspie. I’m not alone!

  8. I just happened to sort of “stumble upon” this blog while I was doing some research about Asperger’s, and I must say, I find it AWESOME!! 🙂 I personally do not have Asperger’s, but it has really impacted my life and I have friends with it. Having friends with Asperger’s has really changed my life. Each of my friends have told me the same thing, “I’m so thankful to you–you are the only friend who’s stuck by me even after they found out.” I get teary-eyed just thinking about it. It’s just so sad how judgmental people in general are! I’m thankful to be able to be the one friend who’s stuck by them, but then again I get so sad thinking about how people “unfriend” them when they find out they have Asperger’s! JUST BECAUSE! >:O Which is why I’m more determined every day to learn more about Asperger’s, to go towards my ultimate goal of starting a blog myself to *hopefully* help to raise awareness about it. Some of my very best friends have Asperger’s and I am extremely passionate about making it a main focus in my life to do everything in my power to help make it a better world for people with Asperger’s & Autism. Aspergians & Autistics deserve it! 🙂

    • Wow, thank you for your comment. The world sure needs more people like you, and your Aspergian friends are lucky as anything to have you in their corner. You just made my day. 😀
      — Asparagus Girl.

      • Aww thank you!! I’m really thankful that I happened to find your blog, because I’ve really learned a lot from reading it, and that’s fantastic because I’ve been trying to do as much research as possible to help me better understand and be the best friend I can be to my Autistic & Aspergerian friends. 😀 I’m just 16 and it seems there are so many people around my age group who are Autistic, which is all the more motivation for me to try to educate myself and others about it!

      • You’re making my day all over again. 🙂 Your friends are really lucky to have you, as I said! So many of us wish we’d had friends like you whilst we were going through school.
        There are some great books about Aspergians that you & your friends might enjoy. My favourite is still “Be Different,” by John Elder Robison. He talks about learning to use your strengths and talents as an Aspergian, and it’s such a positive book.
        I really hope you keep in touch, and keep me posted about the advocacy/befriending work you’re doing. Have you thought of starting your own blog?
        A.G. 🙂

  9. I’m glad to. 🙂
    Well I feel really lucky too though, to have the opportunity to help, and having those certain Autistic friends gives me the opportunity to help so much more, because i am able to interact with them on a daily basis.
    Thanks so much for your book recommendation! I will definitely be checking that one out. 🙂
    And yes, my goal is to start my own blog someday soon. The page I’m working on at the moment is about music therapy and how it helps some Autistics. One of my friends was helped immensely by music, and with music being my main passion in life, it works out perfectly for me to do a page for my blog on that, to help accomplish my goal of raising awareness about Autism, while also stressing the importance of the impact music can have on people in general, at the same time!
    And I will definitely keep you posted! Thanks so much for being interested. 🙂 Also, I would like to follow you on Twitter, if you wouldn’t mind. 😀

  10. Good ones. How many of us have heard at least half of those before and have thought “Oh boy,” in the face of sheer ignorance. I was diagnosed with severe asperger’s as a young girl and have more to add.
    1. You must be mild because you don’t do this one thing that this other person I know with it does.
    2. But there’s nothing wrong with you.
    (ok first off, I never said there was….)

    On a side note, I felt like most of the social stories I had to use in school had a very similar affect as the “special voice.”

    • Heheh. Yeah, I’m always amazed at the number of self-styled experts out there who have seen one movie about Asperger’s/autism, or read one book/article, and are suddenly the Experts on me and my life.
      It is for that reason that I learned to cultivate a Cold, Hard Stare. 😉

  11. I’ve contemplated writing a book about confusing things some neurotypicals, do through an autism based perspective. I don’t know but if I do it could be an interesting read and it might help to place out our perspective on life more. I don’t know it’s just an idea for now. I am open to suggestion.

  12. Thanks I’ll definitely check that out. I’ve read one of his books. We could also add things other than their attitudes towards us…like their behaviours in general…

  13. Fortunately, in the last high school I attended, many of the students had read a non stereotypical asperger related book in english class. As a result, the kids with asperger’s in the school were usually very well respected by the other students. My early life was very similar to Temple Grandin’s, due to my speech delay and extremely severe early signs of autism appearing more like retardation at the time…long boring story. I gave a presentation on her in one of my classes and now some of the teachers have started showing the movie in their classes. I know some people get tired of hearing about her but she’s one of my biggest heroes.

  14. I would add “See a counselor!” since I have been told that several times over the years by NTs who couldn’t understand my odd mannerisms/behavior.

  15. When I explained to the woman at the dental office that I have AS and therefore may have some issues with lights, odours, sounds, etc. she gave me ‘the look’ as well as the ‘special voice’ (up until then she treated me like the adult I am) and said to me “I would never have guessed, you seems so normal. You’re doing very well.” Then she started talking to me like I was a five year old.

  16. I have a brother whom I talked to recently, and he said that I need to act like an adult. I’ve been suffering from OCD, and I have Asperger’s, and I also have some mental problem with intrusive thoughts(my family doesn’t believe it’s OCD, but I personally think it is), and my doctor doesn’t think it’s ocd, but he says I have it. I’ve been suffering from memories of terrible things my brother has done to me(I have forgotten them, but when this problem came, I keep getting memories of bad things done to me), and he’s not very nice. He’s mean, and after telling him how I feel, he said “act like an adult”. I asked him for an apology, and he refused. If there’s any growing up here that needs to be done, it’s my brother. People like him need to grow up, understand Asperger’s, and stop saying ignorant crap to us. He also said that my letter was “childish”. He also said that he has been acting(yes, this is what he actually did. He put quotes around the word nice.) “nice” to me. He’s right about that. He’s never apologized, and he’s refused to. I can get over general wrongdoing, but just the way how he doesn’t care if anything bad happens to me is another thing, along with damaging my reputation to a friend of his and making me look like a loser. The words, “Act like an adult” are from this page! That’s EXACTLY what was up there! Act like an adult! That’s exactly what he said! Idiots who know nothing about Asperger’s, like my brother, should’ve known about Asperger’s already, but choose not too. Seriously? You think that with people in your family, they would’ve been knowledgeable about Asperger’s. But nope, instead, they’re ignorant. It’s real sad. I’m sick of the ignorance and selfishness of people who do not research Asperger’s, and assume we’re immature, stupid, pathetic, childish, etc.I really felt like a child after telling my brother how I felt. It was the right thing to do, and he should’ve done his part. Here’s a message to fellow Aspies who feel childish, “Don’t worry. If people tell you you need to act like an adult, they can go screw themselves. They’re ignorant, and know nothing about Asperger’s.” Just remember, there’s cowards, and scum who pick on us, and who are ignorant about Asperger’s, make us feel stupid, pathetic, childish,etc. but we will win in the end.

    • Adam, I have people tell me that too. I get told I need to grow up and stop acting so immature. I’m a 17 year old male with Asperger’s and I’m still trying to get into the whole “adult stage” and it’s really difficult for me. :/ Though I don’t have a brother, I can only imagine what the pain would be like. I had a cousin who sexually abused me when I was 6 and to be honest, I think about it too much and I found out that along with Asperger’s, I may have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) but I have DD-NOS (Depressive Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified) as another official diagnosis. My family always does crappy things to me such as bringing up my past issues every time I try to talk, call me names (lazy, pervert, etc…) and I’m beginning to resent all of that. I forgive them for what they’re doing but I have a little resentment towards them. Yeah, your brother is an utter jerk, if you ask me. HE’S the one who needs to act more like an adult, not you. Most of my family is ignorant of me having Asperger’s too so I can understand that feeling. I think the NT’s who reject autism and who don’t even care about it needs to cure THEIR ignorance. I’m in no way curing my autism. It’s what makes me who I am. I wish that we can shove neurodiversity into some NT’s faces but I guess that came across as rude but I’m upset at people who are just ignorant and want nothing to do with us.

  17. I googled ‘AS and being called stupid’ as a counsellor called me stupid the other day and it still really hurts, and your pages came up. Was diagnosed with AS two years ago and although I am really sorry that people have called you stupid too because of your AS, it is good to know that I am not the only one on the receiving end of this sort of comment. I have sent a letter of complaint to his senior manager, because while the average person in the street can hurt us by such comments, they are completely unacceptable from a counsellor or other trained professional. At the AS support group I go to we were talking about why we seem to rub some non AS people up the wrong way. What is it about us which annoys them and irritates them? To me, the others in the AS group are all kind and decent people and I can’t see why they have been verbally abused so often in their lives either.

    • Thanks for writing, Chris. I wish I had a good answer for your question about why some people are cruel to folks with Asperger’s, but I don’t. I do know that I’ve received more hateful comments about this blog than for any other one I’ve ever written. (I don’t post/approve them because they’re horrible — who needs more of that?) As I’ve said, though, I think part of the problem is that Asperger’s is a “hidden disability”: we look “normal” and people expect us to act “normal”.
      Happily, most of the people who know I have Asperger’s are far more forgiving of my gaffes and oddities — but some have used the knowledge to pick on me more, which says more about THEM than it does about me. I just hope none of these judgmental, ill-tempered people ever have a friend or a family member with a disability — or develop one themselves. 😦
      However, that said, it does work both ways (like most things in this world). I am a big advocate of learning to manage our disability, whatever that may be: Asperger’s comes with some strange behaviours and some quirks that may genuinely annoy other people. (Talking too much about our interests & not letting others speak, for example, is a turnoff — I have neurotypical friends who do this, too, and it drives me nuts!)
      It’s up to us to work on making ourselves the best people we can be — John Elder Robison & Temple Grandin are two of my favourite authors on the spectrum, and they speak eloquently about that. Mr Robison went & bought an etiquette book when he was 19 or so in order to learn proper manners, as he wanted to get a girlfriend. It worked. Temple Grandin had to learn to get along with co-workers and take turns speaking etc. I’ve met her — she’s lovely and polite. I would strongly suggest that all Aspies read their work.
      It’s also important, though, to have friends who just accept you, “warts and all”, whether that be an AS support group or a club that revolves around one of your interests (I belong to a pub trivia quiz team [many Aspies!] and some nature groups [ditto].) Everyone needs to be able to relax and just be themselves, and it sounds like you’ve got a nice group of people at your AS support group.
      I hope you get some resolution from that terrible experience with your counsellor — he should have known better than to call someone names, Aspie or not.

      Thanks for writing, Chris!

      A.G. 🙂

  18. I think self diagnosis is skewing everything. The 0.09 percent of kids diagnosed with it really have problems relating to other kids, and following any type of convention. I have Aspie traits, intense interest in a few subjects, love of solitude, which actually is to my advantage. It is the co-morbidities i could do without. Dyspraxia and ADHD. I stim my feet and fingers, but somehow fly below the radar in public, i think i come across as quirky or interesting to people who do not know me. I am pretty sure some people grow out of it the mild cases. I think i did. There may
    be a late bloomer, more benign version of Aspergers that psychology needs to address.

  19. Most of your list summarizes a lot behind why I left my former job.

    At my new job, I’ve sensed nothing of this sort from my supervisors and coworkers. We either keep to ourselves, or get along in a non-judgmental fashion. A nice change, although something to get used to, because college and “Official” Job #1 were infested with that kind of patronizing crap.

    • Thanks for your comment. Oddly, this particular post has garnered me the most hate mail I’ve ever gotten on a topic — which is probably why a lot of people don’t tell their supervisors or anyone else they’re Aspie. I’m really glad you’ve got such a good workplace. 🙂

      • See, the thing is, I don’t. I never disclosed this. At my last job, what happened was my supervisor gave me a card to a local psychiatrist, told me if I didn’t get screened, she would let me go, and that no self-respecting person would hire me after this job.

        So I thought, “Oh, can’t hurt.” Finally got a doctor and therapist who could help me appropriately, but realized I was in a very toxic environment.

        So I moved. The most my supervisors have said is that I’m “quiet” and “quirky.” But no one, not even my coworkers, has brought their suspicions (if any) to my attention.

        Now, my former boss? She would actually talk about me behind my back. The best thing she’s said? That I’m “weird and creepy, and have mannerisms that make her a bit queasy to look at.” Gee, thanks.

        I’m just glad I’m not there anymore.

        I’m curious about this hate mail. People do assume without your having to ever disclose.

      • Jeez, what a terrible workplace! Your former boss sounds like she shouldn’t be in charge of a pet rock, never mind actual living, breathing humans.
        The hate mail… yeah, I’m not sure what would motivate a person to say the stuff people say, but I did my best not to take it to heart: there are a lot of mean, cruel people out there who either have unresolved issues of their own, or nothing better to do than troll websites & say terrible things to the people who write them. I just deleted them, although it would also have been a sort of sweet revenge to publish their email addresses & let my readers have a go at them personally… *grin*

  20. It can be really nasty out there I am 31 years old with aspergers and the older you get the bolder and more brutal people get with their opinions about you I really don’t like going anywhere alone anymore do to this fact! If your a parent with an autistic child be very weary of who your kids hang with but don’t smuther and always be supportive!

  21. I couldn’t agree more. So nice of you to post this, so people really can see what this syndrom really is about. I have just turned 22 now, and yeh since i was 19 like after high school i’ve literally done nothing with my life. I have not been diagnosed with Asperger’s, since I’ve never been to a psychiatrist before. It has something to do that I don’t like the whole idea of talking with a stranger who is going to tell you’re sick and then will give you some pills ‘that will make you better’. But I’m 99% sure that I have this condition, or whaterver i should call it. And the more certain I become the more I read about it and look back through my life.
    The biggest problem for me now is that I do not meet my parents’ expectations. They misunderstand me to be a spoiled brat, and they sometimes say or my mother say that i’m doing this on purpose to make her unhappy. Like wtf, i’ve always wanted to make my mother happy for all the thing she has done for me. And yeh, when it comes to friends, i don’t know if i got anymore real friends left. It was just so much easier when i was younger, people liked me for who i was, people tought i was a nice and funny guy, i actually was funny but now i simply have no humor left. It may be because i have no confidence left in myself and that i am depressed. And i think i got a little speech impediment too which might have been worsened with years of smoking joints. And i also suspect that i have developed selective Mutism.
    But the main problem is that i feel like i’m alone about this, i have really no one to talk about this with, most of my friends are or all of them now are ‘boys from the hood’, like it’s not like a friendship realation where you can talk open about these thing, they would probaly call your crazy or make fun of you. And sometimes when i get patronized or called mean stuff i end up fighting them. I’m not a violent person, i actually hate fighting, but i feel it’s the only way i can protect myself.
    I actually tried to tell my mother this one day, but she immigrated here for like 25 years ago from iran, so i guess she’s little old fashioned and don’t know about this syndroms. And i don’t think this condition is something familiar back in iran. So when i told her about this she replied by saying: “what are you talking about, do you think people who work their asses off 12 hours shift for 1$ an hour think about this stuff you are talking about, go out and work and make a living for yourself, son. I guess she is right, but it has become so difficult and uncomfortable to have many people around or just people in general around.
    So i don’t know what i’m going to do with my life. If i could find a workplace where i could work alone i could also work upto 12 hours too. And don’t get me wrong people, i’m not any crazy unsocial hating people guy, I really love people (the nice ones) and i am actually a very sociable and glad person, but something is wrong.
    The thing i want to do is to just leave… or maybe isolate myself or the best options and the coolest just go out and travel the world but yeh… this is really difficult guys.
    so sorry for for such a long text and lots of typos (english is not my 1. language). But i felt i could write this here where people know what it’s about and how it feels and would understand.

    – depressed 22

  22. This is exactly me and at 49 today, I strongly suspect that a lifetime of not fitting in, etc., might be due to Asperger’s. Thanks for this post.

  23. I have a question;
    I have Asperger’s syndrome. I’m very nice and people keep trying to find me someone, haha. But in this world that we’re in, why does everything have to be so complicated???

  24. What was mention I went through back in 2009 to 2011. I learned I have High Functioning Autism in 2009. When I was trying to be pro-active in trying to help others understand me, I got a lot of negative feedback from people.

    I would like to add one more quote: When I was suffering from TMJ or Lockjaw. I went to therapy during a bad snow storm. I parked on black ice, tried to pull out of the parking spot, but the car would not move. I decided to let my parents deal with the car, and walked to class. The pain in my mouth was to great for me to talk as the day went on. When someone asked me if I needed help with my car, I said in pain “no” while holding cold wet paper towel to my left side of my mouth. Someone else heard this and started to yell at me out for being stupid and not even accepting help. I was not able to speak. Each minute that went by, this person got madder and madder at me, tell me how stupid I was, how dumb I am, and how I should not be an evil person. Finally, this person said this:
    “It is not that you don’t see you have friends, it is you that chooses not to have friends.”

  25. Very relatable article. Coming from someone who’s lived with diagnosed aspergers his whole life I love this! My own personal favorite is when you accidentally say something really mean or even condescending and think, “shit, now I look like an ass” as they give you that “WTF” stare.

  26. Not to get in the middle, but I have bipolar disorder and can relate to the stupid remarks and cruelty people show. This article made me both cry and laugh. Hopefully I’m not having a mixrd episode, lol. You are a gifted writer, and hilarious. The pictures and captions were the funniest things I’ve seen in a while. I also have an Aspie friend, so my heart really was touched by this. Hugs.

  27. I react so badly whenever a neurotypical fails to understand me that I just find it easier to stay away from them and not interact. All it does is cause needless stress which makes me reactive instead of proactive. For me the only way to be proactive is not to socialise with neurotypicals, especially those from my past. I have never forgotten being bullied for being “different” and made to feel “stupid” by students and teachers. Words starting with m, r and s were thrown at me in abundance. I’d tell you what those words are, but I have a feeling everyone knows. I refuse to write them down in full because I consider them offensive.

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